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Five years ago all this nonsense with my health kicked off and I am wanting those years back. After an appointment with my neurologist I’m realising ever more keenly that I may need to give up having my own children in favour of having bariatric surgery. Though what I will not do is wait for the NHS to make up it’s mind, to stop trying to have kids while I find out if or when I can have the weight loss surgery.

Still, it’s a sucker punch. Five years ago we’d been trying to have kids, I’d been losing weight and it would all have happened naturally. I’m almost 38 now and time has basically run out.

It’s gotten me into a bit of a funk, if I’m honest. I already know all of this, of course, but it was easier to put it to the back of my mind when I was in the middle of appointments and surgeries. Today I was forced to make a choice, to admit that the bariatric surgery came first, and it kinda killed my hopes about children.